Here is a letter to a person who is caught in the past of parental abuse.. i.e. “You are a nothing and always will be!!! This person is stretching out his life between perfection (so I will be OK..perfection is impossible) and seeking pure heart. (becoming more pleasing to God…God is already pleased you have sought Him)
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You will never be perfect (a measurement) but you can develop a pure heart (being filled every day).
However, testifying to your parents failure will not help you grow. When you are still seeking perfection not a pure heart you will not succeed. It is the purity in your heart that discusses you with your self-control issues. Self-control is a diligent walk with God, learning to get up one more time than you fall.
You succeed by your determination and His strengthening. You are on the right track but the track towards change still has man hills and valleys. It is also a rough road at times, however, repentance and faith grease the wheels of hope.
Your Heavenly Father made you just like He wanted, in order for you to do something in the world that only you are equipped to do.
You do not have the spine of a "jellyfish" what you have is a heart for God which gives you the backbone of a believer.
You real problem is that you need to learn to love yourself; and allow other to love you as well. In Christ you are more than worth of all the love He and others send your way. You will have issues with receiving His love and the love of others until you learn to love yourself, not for what you were, but for who you are becoming in Christ Jesus. Jesus commanded us “to love your neighbor as we love yourselves“. If you do not love yourself your neighbor doesn’t have much to look forward to!
Quit beating yourself up and start praising God for the victory His is and will be giving you in the days to come!